Welcome…
…to the first edition of ‘The Alnwick Town Crier’ compiled
and edited by Jolly Roger - the official towncrier to the small
yet historical market town of Alnwick Northumberland.
.
ROAD TO RECOVERY
Our economy is facing a dire threat
of crippling recession and fast rising debt.
This Corona virus will soon wreak a great cost.
If we are not very careful, all will be lost.
Should we ask our youngsters to resume their work?
I'm sure if they were so challenged they would not shirk.
They are best able to battle with this virus
but there's a danger of it spreading amongst us.
These are the questions that our leaders now ask.
How would you answer if you were faced with the task?
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez
Lords, Ladies, Gentlefolk let us hear your
praise.
Berwick born Lucy Bronze has us in a daze.
Again she has won a prestigious award.
To ignore this talent we can not afford.
In football this Northumbrian reigns
supreme.
To us earthbound mortals it seems but a
dream.
She set out at eight to beat her own brother,
but now we're hard-pressed to find such
another.
God save the Queen
BEFORE G-MAIL
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez
Lords, Ladies, Gentlefolk now, please hear my
tale.
Of an age long past, before even G-mail
In those days there was no Facebook, YouTube
or Netflix
No one had yet heard of special effect tricks
There was no mobile phone or even TV
I hear you ask, ' now how on earth could that be?
How would people hear the news about their
town?'
It's all down my friends, to some men of renown.
Known as bell men and others as town criers,
they brought us the news and they were not
liars.
They would stand on a corner, ringing their bell,
When they woke the sleeping there was merry
hell.
In these days the skill would quite be forgotten
If not for those to whom we are begotten.
God save the Queen and the Lord of this manor.
w/c 12th April 2020
Home
False Alarm
TIf you go down to the woods today you're in for a big surprise. The biggest swat team you've ever seen will appear before your eyes. For a ferocious tiger, the marksmen will all be on the prowl, a change of underpants at the ready in case they hear it growl. The very first time an unwary woman caught him in her sight she jumped in the air, right out of her skin in an unholy fright. Contacting the authorities, she then warned them of the danger. They say that between fact and fiction, the fact is often stranger. When finally the SWAT team encountered the huge ferocious beast they discovered that of all the dangers, this was the very least, for the prey it was found was dressed in a very strange attire. It soon turned out to be no more than resin and chicken wire.
W/C 17th May 2020
COyez, Oyez, Oyez Citizens of Britain, allow me to recall a debt of gratitude owed by one and all. When the enemy sought superiority Heinkels rained bombs on our fairest city. Whilst below people went on with their life the air above was full of great strife. British people struggled on in mortal fear whilst widows were left alone with a tear. Our very brave and dedicated airmen would allow no earthly power to defeat them. So for the brave fallen let us now give a cheer fWithout their sacrifice we wouldn’t be here. God save the Queen.
VE Day Celebrations
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