…to the first edition of ‘The Alnwick Town Crier’ compiled
and edited by Jolly Roger - the official towncrier to the small
yet historical market town of Alnwick Northumberland.
Our economy is facing a dire threat
of crippling recession and fast rising debt.
This Corona virus will soon wreak a great cost.
If we are not very careful, all will be lost.
Should we ask our youngsters to resume their work?
I'm sure if they were so challenged they would not shirk.
They are best able to battle with this virus
but there's a danger of it spreading amongst us.
These are the questions that our leaders now ask.
How would you answer if you were faced with the task?
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez
Lords, Ladies, Gentlefolk let us hear your
Berwick born Lucy Bronze has us in a daze.
Again she has won a prestigious award.
To ignore this talent we can not afford.
In football this Northumbrian reigns
To us earthbound mortals it seems but a
She set out at eight to beat her own brother,
but now we're hard-pressed to find such
God save the Queen
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez
Lords, Ladies, Gentlefolk now, please hear my
Of an age long past, before even G-mail
In those days there was no Facebook, YouTube
or Netflix
No one had yet heard of special effect tricks
There was no mobile phone or even TV
I hear you ask, ' now how on earth could that be?
How would people hear the news about their
It's all down my friends, to some men of renown.
Known as bell men and others as town criers,
they brought us the news and they were not
They would stand on a corner, ringing their bell,
When they woke the sleeping there was merry
In these days the skill would quite be forgotten
If not for those to whom we are begotten.
God save the Queen and the Lord of this manor.
w/c 12th April 2020
© JR Promotions
Something Rude
The Chiming Bells
The UK economy is on course to crumble as voices of dissention now start to rumble. Government borrowing is soaring very high. 'When will it end?' the general public now sigh. 'We need an exit strategy' Westminster cries, 'before our whole economy really dies.' Mass covid testing is at last being rolled out. 'We still need protection' frontline workers all shout. Boris is now ready for a return to work. From his duty the prime minister will not shirk. The media is filled with this kind of chatter, like nothing else on this earth does really matter. Please let us have something now to lighten the mood or in sheer desperation, I'll shout something rude.
Personal protective equipment was run down by a government now headed by a blonde haired clown, saving our exchequer such an immense cost, but tell me, what is the value of each life lost? Boris Johnson, your party has committed foul play. What ever will you do at the end of the day? Have you ever stopped to hear the bells as they chime? I am telling you now, they are marking your time.
29th April 2020